WW 135: Jan., 1963. WF explained by being Just Another WF Story, though various introductory statements try to pass it off as an Impossible Tale. Still, I'm declaring that it's IN CONTINUITY. You know, I'm going to say that all the rest of these stories are in continuity, and just mention if they have a label or not if I remember to. The WF's pretty well established by now; I think the discerning reader should ignore lies that try to claim they're not real. I'm putting my hands over my ears now and I can't hear you. La la la la la... 25 pp. Members of WF in story: all four.

WW 135"Attack of the Human Iceberg!" Kanigher is trying to drive the point home that these are Impossible Tales: WW keeps saying, "This is an Impossible Tale!" throughout the story. Wonder Tot refers to growing up to become Diana, but perhaps we can write that off as being precious toddler talk.

This story begins with the Amazons entertaining a guest, Carol Sue -- which is fantasy enough, since everyone knows that every Carol in the world has the middle name of "Ann." Suddenly the island is held in the grip of ice and only the Wonder Family can escape. They find that the cause is their old nemesis, Multiple Man, the Nuclear Menace. He turns everything into ice.

As the Wonder Family battles MM, Diana flashes back to how the story began: choosing a contest winner: "CAROL SUE is the fictious winner of this imaginary trip -- I can imagine how happy she'll be when she finds out that she won -- just by writing to me c/o WONDER WOMAN MAGAZINE, 575 Lexington Avenue, New York 22, NY!"

So are we all clear here? Is this an Imaginary Story? Is this an Impossible Tale? Alright already! (And don't believe it for a second!)

Wonder Family head shots

Carol Sue and her dog Brownie hop in the Robot Plane and proceed to Paradise Island, passing an active volcano along the way. Diana demonstrates how her lasso follows her voice commands. Carol Sue gets to meet the WF and the rest of the Amazons and then we get to the part where MM encases everyone in ice.

But as you recall, the Wonder Family had broken free and now WW takes her lasso, hoists the upper part of the handy nearby volcano, and uses it to free the other family members who had been temporarily iced in. This also melts Multiple Man, but he reforms into a gigantic metal ball on the sea floor.

Next thing you know, Paradise Island is wracked by an earthquake. Wonder Tot tries to volunteer to help the rest of her family as they stop buildings and statuary from falling down and fissures from opening wide. It's only when Carol Sue and Brownie fall into one giant fissure that WT can jump to the rescue of both of them. She dives to the bottom of the fissure, leaving the impression that she's fallen to her doom. But the Tot discovers that giant metal ball (MM, remember?) hitting PI and causing the earthquakes. She uses her magic lasso to toss the ball into outer space and is received back at Paradise in triumph that she's alive and that she's rid the world of the threat of MM.

Unknown to everyone, MM reforms into a rain of meteors. Carol Sue and Mer-Boy have been playing on a luge course fashioned into the sides of a very vertical iceberg that conveniently lurks just offshore of PI. They and Wonder Girl spot the flaming swarm of meteors heading towards Paradise. WG uses the iceberg to extinguish the meteors, which again melts Multiple Man. You would think they'd realize by now that his threat's not over, but everyone shouts hoo-hah, WG has defeated MM!

In the meantime, good old MM has formed himself into a giant sea clam. As the WF, Carol Sue AND Brownie, the latter two in scuba gear, go diving they are attracted to the giant pearl inside the giant clam and the clam slams shut on them all. However, if you recall, WW has vocal control over her magic lasso and even though her lasso is outside the clam, she can still command it to wrap around the clam, tighten and break it. MM crumbles into fragments that are swept away by the currents of the sea. No, he's not gone yet, but each star-spangled member of the Wonder Family has had her adventure so the story ends.

An interesting letter in issue 134: "Dear WW: You refer to 'Paradise Island' as the secret home of the Amazons. But in a book on mythology it says that the Amazons lived in a city called Themiscyra, which was in the Caucasus. How do you explain this? (signed) Bunny Severn, Detroit, Mich."

"Dear Bunny: Paradise Island is a fictitious island that the Amazons moved to. (signed) WW" This was definitely the first time Themiscyra (spelled correctly!) was ever mentioned in WW. It would be a loooong time before it was ever mentioned again.

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Although WW 137 does not have a WF story, it does have an interesting letter: "Dear WW: This has been puzzling me for a long time. According to your stories, Queen Hippolyta, your mother, is alive today. How can this possibly be when my encyclopedia states that Hercules killed Queen Hippolyta? I wish you would print this, because I am sure that many other readers are probably confused by this contradiction. (signed) Donald Pujol, St. Louis, Missouri."

"Dear Donald: Your encyclopedia is correct. Your question is a very thoughtful one and I am very glad that you asked it -- especially if it is true that others, like yourself, might be confused. Queen Hippolyta belongs to the wonderful world of mythology. And in the tales that we write of her, she simply hasn't met Hercules in that final episode. (signed) Wonder Woman"

A similar letter was published a couple issues later. Kanigher is telling us, "Oh yes, Queen Hip is dead on one hand, and on the other hand these stories we've shown where Herc is just so gushily in lust with her, we just haven't gotten up to the part where he MURDERS HER!!! And readers of these modern-day adventures should keep in mind that Hercules will murder her eventually!

Brrr...

(Hippolyta was actually murdered by the DC Powers That Be in mid-2001.)

Let's move along to the next issue.

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WW 138WW 138, May 1963, 25 pp. "The Kite of Doom!" Please notice that this story does not say that it's Impossible anywhere.

WW hurries home to participate in a contest that's only for the royal family. A kite that helped the Amazons beat back the last Martian invasion is the prize. They have one hour to come up with the best adventure involving a kite, and each takes off in different directions.

WTot goes to a nearby island and sees some cloth sticking up out of the sand. When she pulls on it, it turns out to be Mr. Genie's turban. He had been taking a mud bath. When he gets up, he finds he's been laying on an old Viking ship. WT proclaims that the sail will make a splendid kite and that MR. Genie's turban will make a string for that kite.

While Mr. Genie protests this use of his magic turban, she grabs him by the belt and carries him along with her. But a giant pterandon attacks them, destroying the sail. WT has to use the turban to lasso the bird until they can bail out safely.

Next we go to WGirl, who is grabbed by Mer-boy as she glides over the ocean's surface. He invites her to come underwater skiing on a giant seashell, but she tells him where to go. Turning around, she sees that a whale is about to swallow him and has to save him. In the meantime, the whale swallows her lasso and carres her with it. A final tug shows that her lasso isn't caught on the whale, but on a giant sailfish that the whale had swallowed. A jerk sets the sailfish free of the whale, and the fish creates a kite effect as it flies over the water.

The pterandon from before chooses that moment to grab itself a fish sandwich. WG frees the sailfish, sending it back into the ocean and escapes the bird.

On her own way Hippolyta muses, "I must make every honest effort to beat [the rest of her family]! Otherwise they'll expect me to retire and sit in a corner next to the fireplace darning stockings or something!"

She comes upon a burning military plane, lassoes it and whirls it around until the flames go out. The [dizzy?] pilot informs her that lightning from above had set them above had set them afire and Hippy goes to investigate. She finds a giant frozen cloud in the shape of a kite and lassos it, only to find that the cloud is hiding a Martian invasion fleet.

Using her lasso, she gathers the fleet together so that they wind up firing on themselves and destroying each other. Please note that she had nothing to do with the actual, hands-on destruction of the fleet. That would be icky and unladylike.

WW on the other hand has had no luck in finding a kite, but she does pass the remains of Multiple Man. (cue the ominous music) She meets her family back at the contest central and they're about to decide who the winner is when the giant kite which is the prize snaps off in the wind. The family springs into action to chase it down.

But MM has reformed. While Diana grabs the kite, the rest of her famly go after MM but he turns himself into a substance like amber and entombs them inside himself. WW has to glide on the kite with such speed that it melts MM, freeing her family. She uses the kite to transport them up into the air and MM reforms into steam. So Diana maneuvers the kite higher and higher into colder atmopshere so he that he turns into ice. Luckily for her, a flaming meteor is plummeting through the atmosphere. She pushes MM into the path and he is vaporized. The rest of her family agree that Diana has earned her place as champion of the contest.

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WW 140 WW 140: Aug., 1963, 25 pp. This story is labelled impossible.

I remember the ads for this book when I was a kid, scaring me to death: WW unwillingly casting lightning bolts off herself and destroying PI. "The Human LIghtning!" As Diana approaches Paradise Island in her robot plane, a huge bolt of lightning strikes it. The plane crashes, but WW emerges from it, flashing lightning and unwittingly destroying the buildings of PI. She tells everyone to run and save themselves, and goes into a flashback to the day before when she was musing about the god MOrpheus, the god of dreams.

(Is this his first DCU appearance? These days Morpheus of the Sandman series is a member of the Endless -- and somehow connected to Earth-2's WW's daughter, Lyta Trevor, who in the post-Crisis universe is one of the superheroines named Fury's daughter, or Miss America's daughter or adopted daughter or something. As with Wonder Girl and Power Girl, the Crisis on Infinite Earths caught Lyta Trevor hard and pulled her continuity to shreds. Luckily for me, I don't give a fig about Lyta Trevor and never have. So there.) Diana peruses an encyclopedic entry about Morpheus, god of dreams, who, she reads, can make the most fantastic wish of anyone come true in the dreams he grants. Morpheus appears before Diana Pirnce and tells her: "I'm here to grant YOUR wish three times over! Just name the person -- anyone at all! And I'll show you what happens when I make his wildest dreams come true!"

Diana's first wish is for Mr. Genie. So we go into a WTot and Mr. Genie tale. Mr. Genie tells the Tot that he is so lonely when she leaves that he wishes that WT would play with him for the next million years. After she leaves, he falls asleep. WT comes to rest on his nose and wakes him up, saying she's there for a million years. She promptly unravels his turban and whirls it around herself. A giant pterandon snatches the turban and WT.

But of course Mr. Genie can't do anything about it because without his turban, he is powerless. WT takes the turban, wraps the pterandon up, flips the bird off -- not in THAT way, silly -- only to have a giant fish gulp one end of the tubran. WT grabs Mr. Genie and dives to the bottom of the ocean, chasing the fish. A giant clam clamps down on MG's foot, and WT cannot open it so she has to drill herself through it in order to release her friend.

In the meantime a swordfish comes after Mr. Genie and WT uses the clam to drive the swordfish away. As WT retrieves the genie's turban, an undersea brontosaurus attacks him. WT uses the turban to wrap around the monster's mouth, even as MG is caught by a giant underwater waterspout. She rescues him and pushes on his chest in an early version of artificial respiration until he breathes again.

After which she announces, "Ready to go back after your turban, MR. GENIE? You rested enough now... The day just start! We've got plenty of time!" At this point, Mr. Genie begs the gods to deliver him from his mad wish and sure enough, he wakes up to discover that it has all been Just A Dream.

Diana's next wish is to see what Mer-Boy would wish for and sure enough, he wishes that Wonder Girl were a mermaid. They frolic through an ancient wrecked treasure ship until a giant octopus grabs Mer-Boy. WG comes to rescue him but also falls into the trap. She forms the gold of the treasure into a giant ball, throws it at the octopus, and they escape while the beast is stunned. Now they both go down to the Seaweed Shoppe, which is the local undersea malt shoppe, and Mer-Boy finds that all the other merboys are attracted to WG. She dances with them all as Mer-Boy sits, fuming with jealousy until he pulls her away. He drags her up to the surface where she can serinade him alone on a harp. Unfortunately a Navy ship happens by and all the sailors jump overboard to swim to WG. Then hundreds of parachuters fall out of the sky just to be near WG. Mer-Boy regrets his wish that WG could always be with him because "I might as well be a ghost-fish with WONDER GIRL around!" He too wakes up to find it was only a dream.

Next, Diana wonders about the Duke of Deception, who lives on the planet Mars. Morpheus disappears back into her book before she can find out what the Duke's wish would be and Diana finds herself being called by her family. She flies off to Paradise where as you recall as we come out of the flashback, the lightning bolt had struck her plane and she'd warned everyone away.

Her family offers to play lightning and bracelets, but the lightnings are too powerful and the WF is destroyed in front of Diana's eyes. She looks up to the skies and sees the Duke of Deception's invasion fleet approaching full-tilt. Since she is now a human thunderbolt, she dispatches the fleet quickly and we find out that the Duke's wish had been that WW would turn into a threat against her own kind. Unfortunately, now his wish is boomeranging against himself even as WW is disintegrated.

Luckily for us, we find it's all Diana's dream. Diana wakes up just in time to get the same message from her family, inviting her home for dinner.

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WW 142WW 142: Nov., 1963, 25 pp. "Captives of the Mirage World!" This is labelled Impossible.

This story is not only a "fighting an evil double" story, but an "everybody fights their own evil double" story. It's not only a "giant" story, but an "everything's a giant" story. And there are NO FISH -- that's right -- NO FISH involved! No, not even a dinosaur. Just lots and lots of bugs.

The Amazons are having yet another Queen for a Day Contest, this time for the person who catches the rarest insect for the Amazon Science Museum. The WF sets off and finds that the day has produced a mirage, a double of Paradise Island. When they come closer, they can actually enter the mirage like the Twilight Zone. There they find giant doubles of themselves, only they have pale skin, lots of blusher, and they don't speak.

They're giants! They're doubles! They're GIANT DOUBLES!

These doubles catch them in a butterfly net. Only Diana can squeeze out of it. She lassoes a giant butterfly to follow the giants back to a laboratory. Just as the evil giants are about to chlorophorm the rest of her family for mounting, Diana rides the butterfly and grabs the chloroform, knocking the evil giants out with its fumes.

An attempt to return back through the mirage is thwarted because it disappears. Their mirage world is now the real world. The giants come after them again. They split up.

The two WTot's adventures are first: The Tot discovers a giant porcupine and uses the quills to pin her giant double to a tree. Then the butterfly from before flutters by and she flies it back to the WF's meeting place.

The edge of WGirl's double's butterfly net pins WG's leg. She manages to escape and aim a wasp's nest at her double. She gets to ride on the back of a giant caterpillar and escapes.

Diana escapes her double by riding on a grasshopper, whose unexpected hops save her from captivity. A swarm of lightning bugs distracts her giant hunter.

Hippolyta's double manages to net her, but Hippy reaches through the netting to grab her double's sandals, tripping her, and ties her up with giant vines. She then gets a ride on a large beetle.

By the time the WF has met up with each other, the evil giants are hunting them in the gathering darkness, torches in hand. But: "Mirages disappear with darkness!" Hippy announces and poof! The mirage is gone and they're back in their normal world. End of adventure.

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WW 144WW 144, Feb 1964, 10 pp. The lettercol assures us "Wonder Girl and Wonder Tot will be around for a long time to come!" Sorry about that, but they only had eight issues to go.

"Mer-Boy vs. Bird-Boy!" The story starts off by quickly relating various alien attacks that Paradise has withstood. Now through the barrage of defensive laser fire around the island, a bird-boy appears, announcing that he wants Wonder Girl to be his guest at a party. This is Bird-Boy's first appearance.

Queen Hip gives her permission for WG to go, but unfortunately WG had forgotten about a conflicting date with Mer-Boy. (Such a party girl!) This concludes in a tug of war between Bird-Boy and Mer-Boy with WG in the center. She doesn't want to hurt either one's feelings.

She spots yet another alien invader attacking PI and glides off to meet it with Bird-Boy in tow. Fortunately, one of those meteorites that is always crashing on PI happens to bear down upon it now, and Bird-Boy, whose skin (we learn) is heat-resistant, grabs the meteorite and shoves it up a gun turret of the attacking flying saucer, causing it to explode with Bird-Boy caught in the shock wave.

WG rescues him and turns around only to see Mer-Boy grabbed by a giant bird. She uses her lasso to grab him from the bird's clutches but wait -- an undersea missile emerges from the ocean, aimed at Paradise Island. (EVERYONE knows where Paradise Island is, it seems.) WG puts down Bird-Boy, dives into the ocean to find the source of the attack, but Mer-Boy has already stuffed a giant clam into one of the rudders of the enemy submarine. It explodes, catching him in its shockwave wake. WG rescues him, drags him to the same outcropping that she has left Bird-Boy on, and is left with arguing suitors, unable to decide who to go with.

This was reprinted during the Di Prince era with WW and WT redrawn into being "just ordinary Amazons," although Hera only knows what a tot was doing on Paradise Island. But editor Denny O'Neil wanted this to be the reminiscences of Diana, instead of this being a Wonder Girl/Donna adventure. See? Even he knew that the Wonder Girl of these stories was Donna Troy!

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