The Amazon Bodycount

It's tough to get a starting point on figuring out how many Amazons there are.

How many Amazons were originally created? Well, about as many as stood up to and were defeated by Herakles's army, right? Usually in an army you have to account for the fact that X number are actual soldiers, and perhaps as many as 3X are support: food, shelter, manufacturing weaponry, transportation, etc. I'm going to ASSUME for no good reason that the entire Amazon army is the entire Amazon army. Everyone does the entire job, everyone turns out for PT, KP and battle duty.

The Battle of Marathon was fought with about 10,000 men in the Athenian army. The battle of Thermopylae was fought with 10,000 men representing many areas of Greece. So can we use an army of 10,000 as how many men Herk was able to gather 3000 years ago? It's a nice, round number.

How many men can one Amazon handle in battle? In Simonson's run we witnessed Diana's having only a regular Amazon's strength and skill. She was tossing trees and stone columns around and killing mythological monsters. Hippolyta accomplished about the same during her adventures.

Personally, I think it would take at least twenty men to take out one Amazon (how DID Herc manage to hold the entire nation after the drugs had given out?), but let's make it two to one so that we have SOME Amazons left in the modern day.

Let's start off with 5000 original Amazons.

But oops, Menalippe says THIS in issue #1. Note the subtle highlighting I added:
ORIGINAL Amazons! Eureka!

ORIGINAL AMAZONS, hm? This makes us stop and think of many things. First of all, it is implied that the Amazons lived for QUITE SOME TIME on Greece's mainland before Herc came along. It was enough time for them to establish themselves, try their new "make nice" philosophy, and then gradually be shunned and berated by people around them enough that they withdrew from society. How long does that take?

Did they, in that long time (apparently the Amazons had long lifespans to begin with, because when we see them battle Heracles, they still seem quite young) take husbands? Lovers? Have kids? There was nothing that said they couldn't, and Menalippe seems to imply that they may well have.

Certainly all those rapes from Herc's army resulted in a few pregnancies? When Diana was born, the narration said the Amazons hadn't seen a child in 3000 years, but did not mention that they well could have before then.

So let's say that all the men were killed by Herc and crew. They probably took out a lot of the babies as well, but let's say they didn't get all of them. (See "Aella II" under the Amazon lists.)

But Queen Antiope, who has the wisdom of Athena, says this:half the Amazons dead?

Oh dear. Okay, Antie is pissed at the moment, but she's still got that wisdom, plus the gods themselves made her a queen, which gives a little indication that she can hold it together when times get rough, at least to strategize. Let's give her statement credence with the following conditions: She means instead of "sisters," "the entire Amazon nation." So, with men, children and Amazons included, Herc's army killed half.

But I want my 5000 to begin with because there are heavy casualties ahead.

Let's up our estimate to, oh, 8000 original Amazons, with accompanying human partners and kids making up a population at the time of Herc's arrival of 10,000.

Herc kills half. That leaves 5000.

After the Heracles incident, Antiope takes off with her group. What's that? Ten percent? Five? Let's say five. That's 250. That leaves 4750 Themies.

Some of them are pregnant by the rapes if not normal life before the attack; let's say, oh, one percent, which gives us 4798 Amazons to start Paradise Island. Note: Since Artemis for some strange reason known only to herself, declared that the Amazons would be an all-female race, let's posit that Amazons have only female babies. That way we don't have to worry about scenarios in which they kill their male offspring or some such thing. (Second generation? That theory's up for grabs.)

Doom's DoorwayEnter Doom's Doorway. How much damage did it do to the Amazons? It was filled with monsters that even Olympus feared. Would you say a 1% annual death rate because of that? Let's see... 3000 years... Whups! We wiped all the Amazons out after only 100 years (that's the way percentages work, stupid)!

So how's about, oh, 30 Amazons every 50 years? That's 1800 Amazons dead.

That starts the Post-Crisis (vol. 2) era off with 2998 Amazons. Oops: 2999 Amazons, as Diana was born in the modern era. Oops again; forgot Magala (look at her entry for my reasoning on her late arrival). That'll give us an even 3000, with Diana the one actually hitting the magic mark. I didn't plan it that way.

And darn it, Gail Simone just killed off one more just before Diana's birth. There goes the magic number. But I've come to the conclusion that the Simone era happened in a different universe than that of Volume 2, so I can't include the evil Amazons (Amazons should never be evil!) in this list. Gennes lives again!

Diana's number 3000 again! Yay! Wait, I forgot Paula von Gunther, who snuck in during the Hippy-as-WW period. Darn it anyway! Diana's #3001.

Whatevs. We go from there to figure through all the varying massacres and such.

Too many? Too few? Too bad for you; I'm writing this.

The Count! Ah! Ah! Ah!

WW#1: Amazons are born: 8000 strong!

Nation increases: 10,000 including men and kids

Heracles attacks! 10,000 / 2 = 5000

Antiope and her group take off! 5000 - 250 = 4750

births due to rapes: 4750 + 48 = 4798

attrition due to 3000 years of Doom's Doorway:

4798 - 1800 = 2998

acquisition of Magala: 2998 + 1 = 2999

Paula von Gunther joins the Amazons: 2999 + 1 = 3000

birth of Diana: 3000 + 1 = 3001

War of the Gods (I'm counting the number of urns we see in issue #62, one of which is Menalippe's) (and though Diana died, she came back):

3001 - 6 = 2995

Issue 90 has the Banas joining the population on Paradise. They had come to slaughter the Themies in their sleep and Circe wanted both groups to wipe each other out. The queen says, "After the initial surprise, we were evenly matched..."

Since Banas do not have the strength of the Themies but do have modern weaponry, where does that leave us after the initial two days of fighting? Uh... Let's see how these numbers work, clearly snatched from thin air:

Let's say that both sides started off with the same numbers, 2995 apiece. They lost 10% (see Civil War, below). So that's a total of 5990, let's call it 6000, minus 10%, split evenly.

6000 - 10% = 5400

Ten years in the Demon Dimension. Artemis said the Banas lost 2/3 of their number because they were the main contingent outside Themyscira's walls. (WHY didn't they bring everyone inside???)

So the Banas lost 1800. Let's say the Themies inside their city (for the most part) (as if they'd truly stand by!) lost a quarter of that, 450. Funny how they seemed to have lost a lot of their women of color, at least during the Deodato run...

5400 - 1800 - 450 = 3150

Let's see. Artie died but got better eventually so we'll leave things as they are. Then enter: Darkseid! (issue #103) He attacks the Amazons even though he knows they don't have the information he needs. Just because. Hey, it was Byrne. ANYway Byrne tells us that there are 2000 Amazons left alive after Darkseid's troops got through killing 1208 of 'em. WW Secret Files & Origins #1 says of the Banas, "Ironically they were affected least by the GREAT ATTACK from Darkseid," probably because of their city's distant position from Themyscira. Let's see if the numbers work.

3150 - 1208 = 1942

Other than that being the year after WW premiered, it doesn't sound too good for the Amazons, does it? That's about two and a half high schools worth of students there. (On US average.) Let's see how it goes before we go back and adjust. I'll note that along the way Diana died AGAIN but got better.

WW #169: Amazon Civil War. How to figure this? Amazons drop left and right, and the evil Magala/Ariadne says she's armed the sides to be even -- even though we see that a squad of machine gun-toting Themies can't hit the broad side of a barn. Blood runs freely in the streets of Themyscira, and even the Themies' salves won't cure 'em all. The only death we are sure of is Magala's and even though she died many issues previous to this, I'm going to include her in the dead group here. Shall we say 10% buy it? You wanna argue? Check out the blood-soaked issue.

Lessee, that'll be 1942 - 194 = 1748

WW Secret Files & Origins #2: adoption of Donna Troy by Hippolyta:

1748 + 1= 1749

WW #172: Hippolyta dies in Our World at War or whatever it was. OWAW.

1749 - 1 = 1748

OWAW Amazon losses. Hm. Well, we know at least Myrrha bit it, and when Diana gathers all the minds of the Amazons, she refers to them as 1000 and more, which definitely means less than 2000 SO MY NUMBERS SEEM TO HOLD UP!!! YEEEEAHH! Okay, OWAW casualties. 5%? That's 87.

1748 - 87 = 1661

Long about WW #177 the Amazons started taking immigrants of both genders and all humanoid species, PLUS they adopted "dozens" of kids. I'm not counting the temporary university staff and student population (which I've estimated at being 30,000 with my reasoning shown here). And I'm not counting Lyta, though we learn that the Amazons were planning on taking away Circe's parental rights and dealing with the child (dumping her on the mainland!) themselves. Lyta's dad eventually comes for her anyway. Shall we say re the immigrants...

1661 +300 = 1961

Donna Troy died but got better.

WW#191: Entire population of Paradise Archipelago turned to lifeless marble, silver and bronze statues statues by Scylla: doesn't apparently count, since six issues later we see everyone alive and well, no reason given for their revival. We'll leave this as a null, unless some writer decides to backtrack and explain things to us.

WW#192: deaths of Polyxena, Smeathis, Charis, and Zelia by the Roman goddess Diana: take away another 4.

1961 - 4 = 1957

The Kick's aftermath is shown in issue #201. Artie says, "While NONE of our sisters were SERIOUSLY hurt, of the four HUNDRED and twenty-seven VISITORS here, THREE hundred and EIGHTEEN sustained INJURIES of one sort or another. Twenty-six of them CRITICAL. TWELVE still UNACCOUNTED for." That's writer Rucka for you. Let's make this logical:

NONE of the Themies or Banas were serious hurt. ALL visitors AND immigrants were take off the island, never to be seen and/or commented upon again.

1961 - 300 = 1661

Due to a company crossover, the OMACs struck and struck hard. They posed enough of a threat that the Amazons rewired the Purple Ray to create the Purple Death Ray to protect themselves. At the end of the battle in issue 224 I see a panel with 27 Amazons (not including Donna), so we know there are at least 28 left. Kudos to those Amazons who resisted blasting Diana to smithereens because of her incredibly holier-than-thou attitude during that battle.

We do know that the Amazons made a last stand in their agora -- how many does that hold? -- and that their forcefields were breeched, resulting in death and destruction. So we're going to have a large percentage of casualties here. I'm tempted to put it at 50%, but let's just say 33%.

1661 - 548 = 1113

So that's the count at the end of Volume 2.

AMAZONS ATTACK! Okay, I'll give you a few minutes to stop retching. Done? K.

As we all know, these were not real Amazons. These were SHAMAZONS. (Name originated by Mart Gray, one of the world's top Wondie fans.) They didn't act like Amazons, they had a different government than our Amazons, they were without any kind of ethics, and if you ask me, they weren't that great of warriors but then who was acting like they had a working brain during this mini? Besides Batman, I mean?

Let's take a look at one of the opening shots of the war, from AA #1 — NOT a collector's issue! (sorry about the load time)

the army ranges over the Washington Mall

Someone who shall remain nameless but who can be really, REALLY anal retentive, counted the Amazons in this pic. On the section front and center I -- I mean, they counted fifteen columns of ten rows of soldiers, and that group seems to have three neighboring groups of equal strength in the foreground. Taking perspective into account and mirroring on the left side of the Reflecting Pool the same that's on the right side... plus assorted Amazons flying on pegasi and those lolling around as individuals...

That's 2716. Approximately. Anyone want to check that?

2716, which is a minimal estimate of the invading army, is well over twice the final 1113 we got for pre-Series 3. Yet another reason to believe that these were SHAMazons so who the heck cares about 'em? Kill 'em all!

Thus, there was no change from the previous REAL Amazon numbers unless poor Gail Simone could actually come up with a theory that incorporated these insane and inept females. She did not. In fact, she added to the problem with her own legions of evil Amazons.

Who's got my aspirin???

The answer of course is that we were now in Volume 3. As this series went on, it became clear that this was another version of WW and the Amazons, quite different from what had gone before. And lord KNOWS that Series 4 (2011) was so completely different that I don't even count it as Wonder Woman! That's why I'm cutting the Amazon Bodycount at this point. After Series 2 ended, writers didn't really give a crap about how many Amazons there were. There were as many as they needed to make a really big massacre.

the Tootsie-Pop OwlSo the answer, Wise Old Tootsie Pop Owl, to the question: How many Amazons does it take to get to the end of Series 2 Wonder Woman? Is this:

8000 to begin with;

1113 to end.

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